Distressed

What is the reason for distress?

The lesson I guess

is not very much less

than when my thoughts digress

into a mess.

So focus I must

for focus is just

a means of suppressing

the urge to discuss.

Well I should have guessed

such an arduous test

would make every expression

feel restlessly repressed.

So though I respect

that such method is best

I feel only further lost

as I fail to progress.

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I Am Alone

There is one truth that persists
as time ticks and
rain slicks and
the mind clicks
As people around me feel sound
as safe as long as hopes abound
I sit in anguish angry still
as quiet eyes challenge the chill
and silence takes in all its fill
As I live on and as I exist
as always ever I am this
I AM the cold that haunts the air
I AM the emptiness of a stare
I AM the dream without a prayer
Yes, the one truth is this
while I am here, no one will care
when I look for it, there’s no one there

rut

I’m in my head

and it swims

against the currant

against the wind

I can’t get in

to see the reality of anything

there’s a sting that fouls my mood

a sharp reproach not cold but crude

bewildered I blank

shake the core of calamity

and swindle the cool breeze

that I wish I could ride

and be free

Slowly Disappearing

I can see now that I’ve been slowly
disappearing
from the face of
my face
this world
is forcing me to face
the reality now hits
it’s almost as if
it’s been happening without my knowing
blinded by the will to keep going
I see now
I cannot just keep on if I don’t know where to go
I cannot sort the tiresome if I don’t learn to say no
I cannot hike this landslide if my footsteps never slow
the wall will hit
and rinse, and repeat,
if I don’t first learn to let go
if I don’t take the time to fix what’s wrong
wipe the slate clean
before the slate wipes me gone
and I’ll be disappeared
lost to myself
lost in my own skin
I see now that I am slowly disappearing
and I need to
seek peace from within
and seek love from you
I know now it will take both of the two
to slowly somehow
draw myself back in