What is the reason for distress?
The lesson I guess
is not very much less
than when my thoughts digress
into a mess.
So focus I must
for focus is just
a means of suppressing
the urge to discuss.
Well I should have guessed
such an arduous test
would make every expression
feel restlessly repressed.
So though I respect
that such method is best
I feel only further lost
as I fail to progress.
There is one truth that persists
as time ticks and
rain slicks and
the mind clicks
As people around me feel sound
as safe as long as hopes abound
I sit in anguish angry still
as quiet eyes challenge the chill
and silence takes in all its fill
As I live on and as I exist
as always ever I am this
I AM the cold that haunts the air
I AM the emptiness of a stare
I AM the dream without a prayer
Yes, the one truth is this
while I am here, no one will care
when I look for it, there’s no one there
I’m in my head
and it swims
against the currant
against the wind
I can’t get in
to see the reality of anything
there’s a sting that fouls my mood
a sharp reproach not cold but crude
bewildered I blank
shake the core of calamity
and swindle the cool breeze
that I wish I could ride
and be free
I can see now that I’ve been slowly
disappearing
from the face of
my face
this world
is forcing me to face
the reality now hits
it’s almost as if
it’s been happening without my knowing
blinded by the will to keep going
I see now
I cannot just keep on if I don’t know where to go
I cannot sort the tiresome if I don’t learn to say no
I cannot hike this landslide if my footsteps never slow
the wall will hit
and rinse, and repeat,
if I don’t first learn to let go
if I don’t take the time to fix what’s wrong
wipe the slate clean
before the slate wipes me gone
and I’ll be disappeared
lost to myself
lost in my own skin
I see now that I am slowly disappearing
and I need to
seek peace from within
and seek love from you
I know now it will take both of the two
to slowly somehow
draw myself back in
Poetelling 